Tonight was one of those “scroll through every picture you’ve ever taken of your kids, crawl in bed with them once they’re asleep, and go back and read the blog you haven’t updated in THREE YEARS” kind of nights. Time is weird, babies and toddlers are hard, life is busy, and instagram is easier than… Continue reading It’s been a minute
Happy birthday to Madeline and Holland! Time seemed to stand still the day and months after they were born but has been flying by ever since. Life is busy, and very full. Sweet baby Spencer was born 1 year and 3 days after we lost our girls and this first year of his life has… Continue reading Happy birthday girls
1 year ago today, just shy of 24 weeks into the pregnancy, our little girls made their entrance into the world. Sweet Madeline was already gone when she arrived but the chance to finally hold her and say goodbye was incredibly special. Holland lived for just a few hours and we were lucky that she… Continue reading 1 year
Exactly one year ago today we celebrated Easter in the hospital. Spring had sprung and Campbell bounced into the hospital room wearing a Cinderella dress and looking forward to a lunch date with Daddy at McDonald’s. Looking back it seems so strange to think of that as happy and hopeful day, but that’s how I… Continue reading Spring
The big thing I’ve learned about Parenthood is that when they say it all goes by too fast, they definitely aren’t kidding. While sometimes it seems like we’re always looking forward to and capturing the big milestones (first bite of food, first day of school, first date), those are really not the moments you remember.… Continue reading It feels like snow
October 15 is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. I think of Madeline and Holland every single day…but today I hope that others will remember them too, and all the other babies whose lives ended too soon. Thank you to my friend who shared this quote with me. If you know someone who has lost… Continue reading Remembrance
My daughter turned 3 on Tuesday. I’ve spent the past 4 weeks or so planning a birthday party I didn’t plan on having. We’d anticipated one of three scenarios for her birthday: a miserably pregnant & immobile mother in the June heat, hospitalization at 30 weeks, or babies in the NICU that would require our… Continue reading Happy birthday big sister!
It’s been 3 weeks and 1 day since I delivered and said goodbye to Madeline and Holland. Three weeks of emotional turmoil. Three weeks of physical changes. Three weeks of figuring out how to go forward. Each week that passes brings us to another pregnancy milestone that should be cause for celebration but instead just… Continue reading Mother’s Day
Heartbroken is the word Ryan has used to describe the feeling of losing “Baby A” and I haven’t been able to find anything else that is more accurate. The first few days I went back and forth between overwhelming grief and a somewhat pathetic hope that maybe there had been some mistake and she would… Continue reading Tiny heartbreaks
Ryan and I learned we were pregnant in late November 2015, on the very first day we could have possibly gotten a positive result on a pregnancy test. We were so excited but, as in our first pregnancy, decided to keep the news quiet until we made it through the 1st trimester. As early as 6… Continue reading You know there are 2 in there right?